Candid Confessions

Here I hop!

2008-07-28T08:20:00.000-07:00

It has a been a while since I blogged now. Various reasons contributed to me being aloof. Not to forget my laziness.

So What's new? A little more perspective may be. I just found new waters. Henceforth I will be penning my mind in another space - for all that is unsaid and undone . Pardon the appearance as I am still working on putting it together.

Needless to say, I will still be a constant reader of many of your blogs.. I loved reading your blogs and will continue to..

Crossroads

2008-05-22T13:32:00.000-07:00

I have the choice between living life in my comfort zone and growing(read:just stay put!) or I could just hit the roads and see the world(I mean - literally). What would you do when confronted with a situation as such? No amount of profound sayings and preachings help. Ye, I see you nod.

Haven't you had the feeling that everything, in the end, comes to be monotonous and commonplace? I do. I don't want to know if it is the right thing or not. Partly because I have seen my friends and others live life without complaining of doing the same thing over and over again and yet being as happy or happier than I am. Oh well.

If I put myself in the shoes of a third person to observe me, I would have to say ( from his/her view) - "Hmm, she doesn't lead a bad life. Much better than many indeed". But you see, there is only so much you can do in your day to day life when you have timetable to follow. My job grounds me in as much as I like it. 3 weeks of holidays a year! Its amazing how millions of people have come to accept that. Is there anything else to life at all!?

Me and my meanderings. God, give me the will to cut chase tha rat race. And see the world in all its beauty. Let me get a life! Amen.

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Talking of God, here's food for thought -

House: "You can have all the faith you want in spirits, and the afterlife, and heaven and hell, but when it comes to this world, don't be an idiot. Cause you can tell me you put your faith in God to put you through the day, but when it comes time to cross the road, I know you look both ways."

From the popular medical drama House MD. Also, my current fixation!!

The Selfish Gene

2008-05-07T06:22:00.000-07:00

Thursday, May 8

We the selfish gene!

I had the opportunity to witness "homeless" people in New York City! Not that I had not seen them or was not aware of their existence around in here. It only struck me yesterday that I never thought of what they actually do for shelter and food. Here I was at a charity missionary, that provided shelter and food for a few homeless people in Soho, serving their dinner. It was an experience.

Six of us(all my colleagues) went down to this place in Soho around 6 after work while the sun still shone bright. When my colleague asked me if I would like to volunteer, I only saw this as a good opportunity to be outside on a beautiful day like this(Summer is around! Yay!). Not that we did a whole lot there. All we did was clean up the place, set the table for serving dinner, serve dinner and clean up all the vessels, trays and the place. I was amazed to see the kind of people who come in as homeless. My friend had warned me about this. Looks do not qualify them so at the least. What was commendable was how generous we were allowed to be when serving. We were told that we can serve as much as they ask. I was serving the desserts, there were three kinds of them. Sometimes they asked for all three, sometimes 2 of the same and nothing too. The food was great, not to forget. Obviously as expected owing to the good food, there were a few students there too.

What surprised me at the end was when a whole lot of food was thrown after it was all done. When we asked, we were told there is never dearth of food to serve. Food and food materials keep coming in. There is only so much you can serve and store. So, food gets thrown away. And them all in quite an amount!

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I am so out of the age when I sat and analyzed all that a guy would tell me!! "what'd he mean?!, was that a hint!.. blah blah". Guess I am coming of age. Times that pass by have taught me, I know for a fact that in the end I am the one who should be convinced of it all. Not naive, not dumb for the sweet nothings! I look back and laugh at how naive I was and now I am glad how I have grown up to be. How secure and comfortable I am now can only be explained by how much fun I have without taking anything seriously and analyzing all that happens around me. It is indeed comforting to reach the stage when you can know that if something has to happen, it will happen irresepective of any number of analysis! So yeah, I love not to do that anymore and just have fun while it lasts! Boy! Am I happy.

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13 May

The path lady

So everyday when I take the path back home from office I see the old lady, homeless, who gets food from the burgerking or McD in the underground station. She lies down in a pile of worn out comforters with a trunk. Needless to say, felt pity. Not anymore! Yesterday, she was chatting away to glory on her cell phone! Can you believe that! How is that you beg for food and yet have money to support your mobile phone bills?! Beyond me!

It reminds me of freakonomics. Awesome book! Wait until I finsih it and write about how much I love it and why!

So long...

New York

2008-04-07T19:22:00.000-07:00

I got out of the subway and started walking up the stairs towards the street. It was about 8:20 in the morning. The perfect New York cold morning. People still in the very professional black jackets, scarves(many Burberry), with the blackberry in hand and a laptop hanging down the shoulder; they all walked along. It was an ant line, a very co-ordinated one. Everybody knew the rules of the game. Don't stop anywhere - it is the behavior of knowing your business. You are out of the train and your business is to walk to your office as quickly as possible. It is religious.

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This city is the perfect place to be. Well, almost. If you like surprises thrown at you when you least expect them. I got out of the office at about 5:oo in the evening. Early. Just as I was crossing one of the lights at Times Square(Yes, I my office is at Times Square), this car went past me, missing a few people by inches. Big crazy writing said "The wacky family" on the car. It had skeletons all over doing stupid stuff. Driving the car, popping out of the window - all the way out at that, popping out of the boot and what not! I almost laughed!

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The joys of living in New Jersey? Getting to view the wonderful Manhattan skyline everyday from the comfort of your bedroom and living room!! And boy, do I love it! I might have to move into another apartment in a couple of months that might not have a view.. Hmmmph :(

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Elevator communication skills. Ever heard of that? I had not until I found out I have a course on that is part of an ongoing learning that helps acquire effective elevator communication skills. What with all the tall buildings! Chances of bumping into your seniors are very high. And yeah baby, in New York you got to make use of every minute! Funny! I won't be surprised if a course called subway communication skills come up soon!

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Remember Sunscreen song? And what Baz Luhrmann has got to say about New York?
"Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard"
Somehow, I don't concur with this! At least, so far, I haven't met anyone who has been cold and hard on me!

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Kind of blanked out now! More later! So long...

"What I am not" and "What I am", Now!

2008-03-14T09:46:00.000-07:00

I don't know why I wrote the heading of the post in that order. Wonder if the roller coaster ride so far has taught what really delusions are, and hell yeah, I am out of denial and hence I want to write them out first!

I am no more naive(which I think and not my friends) and idealistic. I don't need everything the perfect way. Yeah, I have descended down to reality. All the mad romantic ideas have evaporated out of my mind. I don't have a short temper(really!). I think at some stage we find religion. Get out of our cocoons, stop messing with it. And then, we get past the stage where we expect mom, dad, this friend, that friend to clean up the mess and fix things! In doing so we undo certain characteristics. I did. And all that is, what I am not today.

Oh and yeah, I am not reckless with my money. It is selfish, cause for as long as I was spending mom and dad's money, I laundered! I really did. And now with my money, I am pretty organized. Or so I think.

I discovered over the weekend that I am no more playful, yes that is the way I used to be. Of course, this is just suppressed behavior. Adaption to your environment. The fittest survive you know! Need be, I will return to being myself!

And for what I am, it has all got to do with the fact that I seem to now have my feet not just firmly grounded but also in reality. RedQueen of Alice in Wonderland says - "It takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place". Be it for your career or personal life, I truly believe in this. Work, work and work!

Coming of age? I like it this way too!
Did someone say it was fun being the kid that you were? I second with you too!

Obama, Stumbled upon and all the exciting jazz..

2008-02-21T07:02:00.000-08:00

That I was a Hillary supporter some time back does not surprise many of my friends. Many think I am a feminist (I will argue that later, much later). What you need to know is that, back then, I had not done myself the favor of reading(a lot, at that) about Hillary and Obama. In due course, I did follow all the debates, arduously read a lot. What seemed totally ridiculous was when people (read journalists and people) popped the question - "So, do you support Hillary(for she would be the first woman President) or Obama(for he would be the first African American president)?". Seriously, are one of them chosen for these reasons? Sure, it sounds exciting. Woman president and African American president. I did give in to this in the beginning. But at the end of the day, we like what we like because it appeals to us. It appeals to us because it resonates with our perceptions of the world and the way we want it to be. With the democratic front-runners the same is true. Obama fires up people because he either knows what people want or he knows at the least what they want to hear. In all the debates and speeches I have seen, Hillary has been vanilla. On the contrary, when I watch and listen to Obama I get excited. He exudes the appeal that I have often only heard of- that of someone inspiring. There is really one thing that sets him apart from Hillary: It seems to me, in as much as Hillary speaks well to people, she does that to get up there in power. She gives me the impression that she only "performs" her "rosy" talks to get into power. Now that is not the impression Obama gives me. With him, its the opposite. He seems to want to get into power to perform on those tasks and deliver the promises. In as much as I want to support a would be woman president, I strongly feel she lacks the chutzpah that she needs. And Obama effortlessly exudes that a great deal.

It was not too long ago when people would gamely demur the candidacy of Obama against Hillary.Recently, when I was commuting back home in DC I got into a conversation with an NPR employee. Until then I thought NPR employees are well informed enough to make their decisions. This woman was meaning to vote for Hillary. Much to my delight, I managed to change her mind. Whether she did vote for Obama is a different issue. But hey, i can be a great campaign manager!

And now for what I stumble(d) upon!
If you use firefox, you have to, have to, have to, download the plug-in "Stumble upon". Thanks to Kaku for introducing me to it. It is like Dig or del.icio.us but much more exciting. You can discover so many cool websites with the click of a button. Here are some fun sites I discovered:

All of George Orwell's works
Diamonds
Paint it!
Horses can sing too
Pug doggie
London
The no buttons interface

Go ahead and install this plug-in. As my friend points out it is damn addictive. And I say its just too cool!

Not so trivial

2008-01-18T14:52:00.000-08:00

My bad. Networking is the buzz here! And, boy, did i fall prey! It was a not-so-quiet dinner in a posh restaurant. I look up the menu and all I could get was the vegetarian platter. Everything else had meat in it. So did I have a choice at all?!Besides I was terribly hungry! So I went ahead and did so. It was all good until I got my vegetarian platter which turned out to be a "badly cooked vegetables platter". All the spoilt consultants around me gave the look! And pop came a question - "So what do you do for fun? Eat vegetables?". (And this being part of my getting to know my colleagues) It was not my day alright. It is quite a deal being a vegetarian. Often asked am I, does your religion forbid you from eating cheese, milk blah blah.. Blahhhh blahh blahh! As if all that was not enough, they were sorry for me! Everytime I meet one of these colleagues who shared a table with me, I am greeted - " Hey! there you are, the vegetarian!". To these people, it is oh-so-hard to understand why I would be a vegetarian by choice at all!

Have been reading Shantaram. I had heard a million praises and read wonderful reviews. As the book unfolds I could not agree more how well the book is written. To me, it is not so much about the other side of Mumbai that is revealed as it is about how well the thoughts are articulated. Was I so narrow minded to think a convict could never write a thought provoking book? Well, yes, I guess. And now, I have a perspective. In a world that more or less clearly defines what is right and wrong, what is good and bad, I cannot help but be judgmental. Clearly, to me a convict so far was a person who could never dream big (and write so well). And here is this guy who has probably written the most moving and thought provocative lines. Boy, am I surprised to realize how narrow minded I am. I now do have another great book in my "Already read list". What is more important is how it has radically changed my thinking to a certain extent - That there are no demarcations between good and bad and that they always certainly are subjective. And yeah, I realized how judgemental and wrong I am!

Did I mention that I have not really made American and European friends. I have been here for over 17 months now. Not that I have to, but I want to! Turns out that any town in US has so many Indians around that sub consciously I have hung out only with them. And while I am at that, New York - where I will be spending most of my next 2 years(hopefully!), is filled with Indians! (Alright, alright,I hear all the "Duh"s). Yet, I cant stress enough! I meet all my good old Bangalore friends every now and then. I have no hopes of making any new friends at all there! So much for living in the U.S. of A.

And when it rains it pours!

2007-12-04T07:44:00.000-08:00

Times were many when I had no clue where I was heading. And then, thoughts such as - "Did i make the right decision by coming here leaving my comfort zone?" always lingered around. Times change, and yes, I am in good stead to know where I am going now. All that matters! Hmmmm.. Oh well! I am graduating!! Yayy!

The feeling of gratuity and the realization of reason has suddenly dawned! My graduate studies are done. The benefits are reaped. And, ahead of me lies a life which knows what to expect. Much of the remaining period of rest and play until I start work has been planned out. Once work starts, it is probably going to be mundane. For a long time during graduation it was all about grades, then the period of job interviews ( which was a pain, I tell u!!) and then the time to choose between jobs. There was always excitement. Right now, I am a couch potato! Nothing to work for - I have almost graduated and I have the job which was the ulterior motive! It looks like I know the path ahead of me and yet there is some uncertainty lurking around it.

I have now realized, in so long as you have a risky and challenging task in hand life proves to be fun and exciting. I now wonder why people want to "settle down". It is kinda boring. True to its literal meaning, I dont want to. I thoroughly believe it now - You should live on your edge! Jump the ridges and make a mistake, hurt yourself and rest a bit, wake up again and explore it all; of a world that you have not seen. I shall now say to thee my life - "Bring it on"

So far..

2007-11-12T10:20:00.000-08:00

It has been a while and I was all lazy! My experiences and emotions and what not failed to convince me to articulate them to dazzle on my blog page. They tried hard. But, Oh well!

Colors of my day
Yes, they want to shine through words
Thoughts of my mind, That gave me quite a time
They aspire to speak a story
And all the crazy dreams
I would spin them on a timeless yarn - Or so they thought
Nothing, Oh yes, Nothing
Could entice me yet.
Yes, the slumber party is over
And, I am back in the daylight
To adorn all of thee!
And time is all of now!

Pardon my rambling. Feels good to be blogging again!

ps: The other day my friend pinged me and said lets watch OSO again tonight. For a moment all I could think was Service Oriented Architecture (SOA), Object Oriented Programming(OOP), Enterprise Architecture(EA) and the likes. Nah, OSO is none of these course that we take!! It's Om Shanti OM. When you want to believe that some people don't know of logic then you have to, have to watch this!!

Sepia Mutiny, Bollywood et all..

2007-07-19T07:30:00.001-07:00

One of my everyday reads is Sepia Mutiny. The following that the posts have there are phenomenal. It comes with little wonder why. What with posts that cover thy desi-amrika linked stories with much chutzpah! Talking about issues and happenings that are mostly overlooked by me otherwise. I have a new perspective about various aspects - I always thought desis in US feign stories of India and its associations with the world outside. Not true! I have a bunch of friends who religiously read Sepia Mutiny for the wonderful coverage of human interest stories they do. And most of them are the desis in America.

What Initially drew me to Sepia Mutiny, though, were the colorful banners (note the "color" and not "colour" - Im turning American!). When i dug up the blog to have a look at the banners that are used here - I was surprised to see the amount of them having the bollywood and Bombay influence. The swell banners are here! I cannot help but not deny the association of India with bollywood. Not a bad thing. But it does not feel great about not having associations to the culture or the the cosmopolitan fabric it holds. Bollywood is not niche, and that is why it is not the done thing to be associated so heavily to it.

Not a day passes by in most parts of an average Indian's life without having the talk of bollywood. (Pardon the not-so-much-of-a generalization!). It is somehow has had the most drastic influence on minds in India. The youth take on to bollywood. Allow me to say that - No! I don't mean bollywood is a bad influence. But it does not deserve to have the influence to bring a cultural shift. A simple example - any dress that Madhuri dixit wore was a rage!

I recently read this article about how long loved Indian sari has been less embraced by Indian women, thanks to Sepia Mutiny to pointing me to the article. You can find it here - The sari saga . Shashi Tharoor, notes how suits and slacks and trousers have replaced saris at work place. Yet, I clearly remember women flanking gorgeous looking saris after the Aishwarya Rai movie Shabd. It was glamorous to do so - wear light saris to work, for it looked great in the movie! Oh yes it would! She is Aishwarya Rai! You don't want society to follow the foot steps of bollywood!

Oh well...

2007-07-11T13:23:00.000-07:00

Was it divine providence?
Or just the lame happenings
Of bygone days
That memory wouldn't relinquish?
For time yields
And I will let them be
I have kicked the dust
To walk past ahead
While you lie in the shrouded mists
Of my remembrance
Until all of 'you' is effaced
Into the worthless abyss of time

Mid-week off!

2007-07-05T05:00:00.000-07:00

The holiday on America's birthday was more than welcome! Apart from it being another holiday it was a mid-week holiday - which I much liked. I am sure most of you would too. This Wednesday holiday suggested me of many more pleasant soothing mid-week holidays, if at all they were an option! And why not so!? Just when you thought you are out of your monday blues and settle into your tuesday the mid-week wednesday holiday is right there! And just another 2 days and you will be off for the weekend! I could not help but think of all the positive effects of this. There were times when I wanted to just laze at home in the weekends - yet I would take off shopping and partying. With this wednesday off I could do all the resting and lazing on the wednesdays and all the fun in the weekends! Sounds too good! Oh I wish!! Wednesdays would then have been a day for naps, lots of coffee and reading books!

Speaking of which, in the last 45 days I have read 6 books - not a great feat, I am delighted much the same. Ever since setting foot on the US, this is the first time I read so much at a stretch and I am oh so glad! An equal music(Vikram Seth), Animal Farm and 1984(George Orwell), Catcher in the rye, Sidney Poitier's autobiography and Tolkien's The Hobbit. All of them made for an enjoyable and thought provoking reading! I have 2 more to finish before I leave to India. And they being - Gabriel Garcia Marquez's Love in the time of cholera and the other being the much celebrated "The world is flat". I would love to boast and yap about my 8 books feat to my dad! So much for the love of books!

These days....

2007-06-22T05:43:00.001-07:00

These days I am lazy! So lazy that I just get to bed after coming home from work.
These days, weekends have been fun! For many reasons! :)
One of these days I watched Oceans' thirteen - I loved it!
Even these days I love New York for what it has offered me! Much more than I expected!
And these days Washington DC is great too!
And these days Im loving life!

These days I finished reading 1984 and Animal Farm and Sidney Poitier..

Whenever i read books, especially ones that really appeal to me, I like to discuss them with someone who has read it. but not necessarily liked it. But then most of my friends are in different cities or we just end up not talking about books! And then me and a friend of mine thought about having a Blog Book Club. I will be very happy to have avid book readers to contribute here. Any takers?!

For starters I wrote about 1984 and would love to have it discussed on the Blogging arena. So here it is - Raw renditions

Work!!

2007-05-16T19:12:00.000-07:00

From the - "I couldn care less" to the - "Oh! I am responsible too!" attitude. Its been a long way. Err, not really!

Amongst all my friends two of us started our respective internships the earliest, barely 3 days after school ended. I woke up today at 5:45 am in the morning which to a great extent was rarity back in Pitts. The last few weeks, in school, I used to get to bed around that time, owing time to my project. And then, I had friends for whom this was a norm! Times were when my friends and I would sleep late even when we did not really have to - doing what we called - timepass! Getting to bed early was not on the cards! On the contrary, here I am making sure that I get to bed early just so that I am fresh for a good 8-9 hours of work. I am sure this is going to be the same for all my friends when they start work.

Moving from school to professional work is a drastic change I would say. What with the erratic sleep cycles and food habits! At work it no longer can be the same. It is amazing how professional work brings with it a sense of responsibility. There are no more wayward decisions! Right from commuting to office to what are my deliverables at the end of the day - everything is thought of. Feels like I am working on a clock. Actually, realizations that I am getting old is hard to come by. These are one of those few times that such thoughts linger around! (yes yes, I do feel getting old makes me more responsible and less reckless!). But after this, I wonder how much of a change I will have to get back to school! School keeps you young and reckless and rollicking!

And change is good! Keep it changing, back and forth! For the good!

Random meanderings

2007-04-16T18:02:00.000-07:00

The torrent that lies within
Resilient to subside
Thrusting to unseen fronts
The soul surging to begin.

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True deceptions
Faltered perceptions
Farce, our guise
Life, less wise!
Overlooked, felonies
Of life, a blur

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Life is thus
Unscathable dreams
A never ending pursuit
Myriad expectations
None satisfied
Swelling ego
One that prides blatantly, shamelessly!

Gtalk status messages!!

2007-04-11T09:23:00.001-07:00

Just a peek into all the status messages on Gtalk, good fun! :)

Here they go -

":(i hate writing!!:)" - A significant someone annoyed of writing classes :P
"Bored!! "- This person's got lots of work, yet bored!
"The world's full of jobless people, others have a kernel to build" - One of the OS patrons here!
"impossible is zero" - Been around for a while, fathomable!
"Life is a 'butterfly effect'!" - No idea whatsoever what that means :)
"i have a new philosophy. I am only going to dread one day at a time."
one infinite loop" - i think i know what this means!
"Kimi didn't want to scare Alonso with Ferrari's pace" - Whatever!!!
"Finding fortunes in unexpected places!!!" --- Good for the one who wrote this!
"Try your best, and think about it later,or you will never know" - Cryptic!

I have my share of them too! When I yearn for coffee my status goes - "Coffffeeee"

A whole lot of philosophy in there! :)

Belong!

2007-04-08T08:18:00.000-07:00

It was all sunshine
Bright and fine
For a moment, never did I realize
The sun, after all, would set
The sunset, it did
And with it came
The spell of darkness
The spell of silence
Etched though were moments
Ones that are indelible
For a lifetime.
And wither it does, the night
For yet another day
Lights up and unfolds
To let me speak
Of the unspoken
Of the words that belong.

Nonsense! I guess...

2007-03-21T14:13:00.000-07:00

Is there a poem in all this?
Yes that is the bliss
No mundane words
Ye words, what do you picture
Adversity it hits me
While I hold on
Or at the least try to
You tell me
Of a life that
Would embrace me...

Ps: This happened to be my comment on someone's blog. For some reason I felt that it should be on mine too :)

Tempest

2007-03-20T19:44:00.000-07:00

For I bask in this warmth
That you left behind
Evading your coldness.
And reminisce
Here, As I remain with shards of memories
When all that is
But your presence.
Much against my will
This tempest that there is
Relentlessly effaces thoughts
Of all that is left.

And for once,...

2007-03-07T15:40:00.000-08:00

At the brink of the mini. Assignments and quizzes and exams and what not!

And in all that mess came the colors - much deserved. In no time everyone had sprung out of their cocoons. To say that I initially hated all the mess that it makes out of you, I was here enjoying it at the best! It was my first Holi too!

About an hour of careless and carefree time. It was not so much about the festival of colors itself but that it probably was the only reason why we all got out of our streotyped lives that we lead for the moment. For it made a difference.

This one is for those color filled moments! Let the good times roll!

Madness?!!

2007-02-12T16:44:00.000-08:00

I happened to re-visit a friend' s blog. I had read this blog of his much earlier, and I had my own standpoint then. But this time, when i read it all over again I felt there was something to it, which was not what i thought earlier. Sure enough, people get "practical" here! Mama mia! So have I!!
Rather I am forced to. Now before you wonder what i am talking about, let me introduce you to the much talked about blog amongst my friend's circle -

Madness?!

Hope you enjoy reading this :)

The going, so far!

2007-02-06T23:30:00.000-08:00

Life - its keeping me up and running!
It says - Like you have a choice!!

Quoted

2007-02-06T23:24:00.000-08:00

“I take rejection as someone blowing a bugle in my ear to wake me up and get going, rather than retreat.”

-A Sylvester Stallone quote!!

So much for giving "Your all" and ending up with that rejection!! :)

Crunchy leaves

2007-01-26T11:44:00.000-08:00

I recently came across a community on Facebook called - "I will go slightly out of my way to step on that crunchy - looking leaf". I am so glad to find so many people like me! Who like to step on those crunchy leaves and run around here and there around trees looking for them. I do not know what it is that I like about them. Wonder what joy it is that I get out of crushing those dry, pale leaves!! It does not matter - I enjoy it - absolutely!

It brings out the kid in me! If I am "crunching leaves" its given that I am totally not conscious of my surroundings and people! I can go around hopping on them without a care. Its hard to imagine how few a times we get to be that. Just yourself without having to care about the world around us. How often have I heard myself say - "I couldn care less!". The truth, is, I so do care about it all!

But when it comes to crunchy leaves - I lose it! This one is for them!! Absolutely love them!

Let's go exploring!

2007-01-17T21:47:00.000-08:00

All good things come to an end.
So did Calvin n Hobbes and how!!! Caught in bouts of ennui I looked up google for my most adored character. Just as I was reading the all knowledgeable Wiki I found the last strip of CnH there.

This is how it goes:

Calvin: Wow, It really snowed last night! Isn't it wonderful?
Hobbes:Everything familiar has disappeared! The world looks brand-new!
Calvin:A new year.. a fresh, clean start!
Hobbes:It's like having a big white sheet of paper to draw on!
Calvin: A day full of possibilities!
It's a magical world Hobbes, ol' buddy...
Let's go exploring!

And what a way that was to bid adieu!

Here is the link to the strip - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Ch951231.jpg

Newwwww York!

2007-01-06T16:12:00.000-08:00

Cut to the chase. I had one hellluuvva time!
Thanks to New York! I started with all apprehension. I would arrive at JFK airport at 8:30 am and my interview was scheduled at 11:30 at Manhattan! Add to the trouble I had my big suitcase to lug around(I would need half my clothes for a 12 day outing, or so i thought!). I got into the air bus at JFK and thought it better to ask someone how to get to Manhattan. So i did. It was this lady from California, not only did she help me get onto the right subway but she made me instantly feel at home with all her trivia talk about New York. Welcome aboard! All my memories of New York will start with her.Warm and exciting - New York to me had just begun.

Contrary to what my friends had told me, people here were quite friendly. But then, experiences vary. New,fresh,bright,full of life - the NY that I saw. Every walk on the streets of Manhattan would leave me amazed. Could life be so fiercely fast?! I loved every bit of it. Far from the laid back attitude of Pittsburgh, NY imbibes enthusiasm. Not for a moment can you stand to look around on the streets! Its on the move.

Menacingly cold it was
Yet I wanted to be out
On the streets
Besides the river
Such was NY
Fiercely competitive it is
Entrenched is the zest
Indomitable is its spirit

Yep, it all suits me fine!

Snow!!

2006-12-07T16:34:00.000-08:00

I was totally excited when I saw it snow heavily for the first time here. I was in the department and I ended up calling many of my friends telling them about it. It looked beautiful.The sidewalks with the smear of snow was amazing! And then, a little while later, It started to snow heavily! And this time boy, was I excited!

I even played snow ball with a few of my friends from INI. That was oh-so-much-fun! It left our feet and hands totally numb!

Fears

2006-12-06T19:33:00.000-08:00

A thousand times over i have been asked - "What is your biggest fear?". And I have quoted as many different ones! Fear of the dark, fear of the crowds, fear of animals, fear of getting lost, fear of stairs and what not! You just got to name it!
And now I am caught on the EXAM FEVER!!! Turns out that it can now be on my list of fears too.The EXAM FEAR!
SOS!

Trust me!

2006-12-05T12:19:00.000-08:00

Its hard to come by,
I trusted it is a nice thing to trust
But then, trust me
Now I know
Tryst with trust
Seldom does it happen!

Its been a while!

2006-12-02T15:35:00.000-08:00

Its the second of December. Exactly 4 months since I got here. Phew! It seems longer than that to me. It has been fun though. My first "away from home", so the experience has been more than a tough teacher. Late nights, assignments,the weather and what not! It is so not Bangalore or the system I was part of!
Far from the sheltered nests that we lived in once, here me and my friends are getting in terms with reality. And boy! Are we enjoying it!! The stay so far has offered a lot of nice little joys. Discovering that we were natural at cooking was the biggest surprise. The joys of living on your own offset the insecurities and initial apprehensions.
One very interesting discovery has been that of the seasons- I saw the drastic change in the weather from Spring to Winter! Back at home, I did not know what really was the difference between Spring,Summer and Autumn, although here I am yet to find what that would be. As of now, its getting colder by the day and now i know what WINTER means. Not to forget how pretty the streets are getting with every passing day. Christmas is round the corner! Its already so pretty everywhere. I cant wait for Christmas. Although I am not going home(which I regert very much and envy all my friends who are heading home) I am assuming Christmas has its sweet little presents for me!

Living the dream!

2006-11-08T09:49:00.000-08:00

No! This is no inspirational enthusiastic story on how to live life! It is one of my assigments here. Yes, yes assignments do get interesting once in a while.

Living the dream- Dream a dream tour for yourself. Assume that you are going to retire in fifteen years and then calculate and see if you can afford that from you savings 15 years from now and still live the same lifestyle as you are now.

I took it for granted that I would have sufficient money. I was in for a surprise. Calculations showed that I would be left with an abysmal amount of money after my dream tour! Of course to make things look good on the excel I made adjustments so that i would be left with enough dough for a living later on. But the assignment has left me thinking about how I should channel my money. It is hard to imagine that after working and standing on your own for a long time, retirement hits you hard!

Gotta watch out! Investments,savings et all. Traders here I come!

Insomniacs Inc.

2006-10-20T23:19:00.000-07:00

No, its not that we do not sleep. We do, but then we have odd hours of doing that. If you ask me why, its because all of us here are awake(read wide awake) even at wee hours of 3:30 in the morning and we keep it going! And then we sleep. And we wake up at 3 during the day and some of us much later!

I have lost track of dates and days. Days run into nights and so on and so forth. Yesterday was particularly interesting. Everyone i know slept after 3:30 am. And everyone got up today after 3:00 pm except a few exceptions. Visiting hours are no longer restricted to evenings or mornings. Having friends at the odd hours in the night has become the norm and it is more than often inviting and preferred!

One of my friends pointed out to me-"Its just been the tip of the ice berg so far!"

Zilch!

2006-10-12T09:46:00.000-07:00

October 12th 2006, CMU

After working with endless DB queries for the past 2 days, I slept for a nice long 7 hours. The morning sun woke me up with a relatively lesser tension for the day (Because i did not have any assignments due today!).Did the normal chores and then hit upon my all so faithful and loyal laptop. The first message from a friend on Yahoo-"your first "REALLY" cold day at Pittsburgh, it is gonna be 0 or 1, so bundle up well :) ".

I have mixed feelings about this. While cold weather is something I am not comfortable with, the prospect of experiencing it for the first time has me excited. I am well prepared-"bundled up" if u could say so! I was out in the department and met few friends while walkin back and all the talk was about the "1" that was due today which would leave us all freezing. KAKU,my friend, was freezing. He did not say hi to me or ask me what i was upto. He was busy shivering and saying-"ITS SOOO COLD".

There is more yet!

2006-09-29T16:25:00.000-07:00

Played against
The whims and fancies
Held on
To the ground beneath.
Of rational choices
Difficult as ever, it seemed to be!
Uncertainty lurks yet
And, hostility the world gives to me.
The torrent that lies within
Resilient to subside
Thrusting to unseen fronts
The soul surging to begin.

Reflections

2006-09-20T21:42:00.000-07:00

True deceptions
Falltered perceptions
Farce, our guise
Life, less wise!
Overlooked, felonies
Life, a blur
Nothing i hold, to stir.
Pardon, my faith
No more
I can bear, the charade
To the truth
Of yonder
I wish to wilt.
Too dosed by life
I walk along
I know I am lost!
I know I am lost!

Soliloquy!

2006-09-19T18:50:00.000-07:00

It never occured to me until my roommate here left to her vacation, that I had never lived alone! Incidentally, it so happened to be one of those times when i was feeling very low. The fact that I could not reach out to my parents whenever i felt like took the toll over my emotions. Of course, I was mentally prepared that a roomie( a long time friend at that) would be no substitute. The least I expected here was a person to talk to atleast. I was not prepared to be all alone, and here I was facing a situation where I did not have a choice. Oh yes! Now I know why they say "Life teaches it's lessons the hard way!"

I was quick to snap back at friends when they called me a spoilt brat. I did not want to be called so! And i loved being spoilt, and now i miss all of that, although all the while i denied it! Time brought me to a juncture at which I had to cook myself, fend for myself, pay my bills, cook and take care of myself! Its so hard to beleive that I was not even bothered about taking care of myself back at home. Mom was always there!

Few hours into my soliloquy, i started getting used to it. Not that I had a better choice to choose from to say! I am glad my friend was not here, for I realized that loneliness is really a state of mind. I am sure i did not feel lonely when I immersed myself in my favourite book or when I put in all my efforts to complete my assignments!

All of life!

2006-09-11T21:05:00.000-07:00

Moments,Ephemeral
Much as I do not want it so.
Sparks of memory
Relentlessly, reminisce they do.
Horizons,ever changing
Leaves me guessing, of things I do not know.
These winding paths,
Insight on me they bestow
All of life!

Back to Ogden Nash! Not really!

2006-09-06T19:41:00.000-07:00

Ok! I have a confession to make. I was introduced to Ogden Nash's poems by my friend VJ, fondly called so by me. Incidentally, VJ happens to be a good poet too. Whats more! He can be at his best when it comes to sarcasm, Biting sarcasm.

Here is a recent mail that I got from VJ, in which he refers to my liking for Ogden Nash(or so i think!).

I hope you all enjoy reading the poem too!

Now the mail!

---------------------------------------

"Okay, so I promised P that I'd write out Ogden Nash poems for her: she'd liked that other one so much.

And I figured all of you are likely to enjoy it, so you're all in the 'To' list.

A Mars bar apiece per meter of poetry would be considered adequate recompense. :P

Oh well, if wishes were wings, fish would ride bicycles....or something like that, right? Sighhhhhhh......... Anyway, here goes. Hope you enjoy it!"--- (This is VJ' part)

VERY LIKE A WHALE - Ogden Nash

One thing that literature would be greatly the better for
Would be a more restricted employment by authors of simile and metaphor.
Authors of all races, be they Greeks, Romans, Teutons or Celts,
Can't seem just to say that anything is the thing it is but have to go out of their way to say that it is like something else.
What does it mean when we are told
That the Asssyrian came down like a wolf on the fold?
In the first place, George Gordon Byron had had enough experience
To know that it probably wasn't just one Assyrian, it was a lot of Assyrians.
However, as too many arguments are apt to induce apoplexy and thus hinder longevity,
We'll let it pass as sone Assyrian for the sake of brevity.
Now then, this particular Assyrian, the one whose cohorts were gleaming in purple and gold,
Just what does the poet mean when he says he came down like a wolf on the fold?
In heaven and earth more than is dreamed of in our philosophy there are a great many things,
But I don't imagine that among them there is a wolf with purple and gold cohorts or purple and gold anythings.
No, no, Lord Byron, before I'll believe that this Assyrian was actually like a wolf I must have some kind of proof;
Did he run on all fours and did he have a hairy tail and a big red mouth and big white teeth and did he say Woof woof?
Frankly I think it very unlikely, and all you were entitled to say, at the very most,
Was that the Assyrian cohorts came down like a lot of Assyrian cohorts about to destroy the Hebrew host.
But that wasn't fancy enough for Lord Byron, oh dear me no, he had to invent a lot of figures of speech and then interpolate them,
With the result that whenever you mention the Old Testament soldiers to people they say Oh yes, they're the ones that a lot of wolves dressed up in gold and purple ate them.
That's the kind of thing that's being done all the time by poets, from Homer to Tennyson;
They're always comparing ladies to lilies and veal to venison,
And they always say things like that the snow is a whilte blanket after a winter storm.
Oh it is, is it, all right then, you sleep under a six-inch blanket of snow and I'll sleep under a half-inch blanket of unpoetical blanket of material and we'll see which one keeps warm.
And after that maybe you'll begin to comprehend dimly
What I mean by too much metaphor and simile.

------------------------------------
That ends Vj's mail.

What i loved about this poem, are the last two lines. It contracts the entire poem and the sarcasm is poignant!

I replied to VJ- "Way to go Charlie"

Cute!

2006-08-25T13:35:00.000-07:00

Here is one very funny poem i came across. Ogden Nash's poem -

The Ant - Ogden Nash

"The ant has made himself illustrious
Through constant industry industrious.
So what?
Would you be calm and placid
If you were full of formic acid?"

Come to think of it, this poem epitomises a very important phase of life. Presently, I can so well relate to this poem. Now that I am here for my masters life aint same. Gotta be "Industry Industrious" to endure the same. Perhaps, from now on its gonna be an ant's life forever. Restless as ever!

2006-08-23T08:21:00.000-07:00

That is the Cathedral of learning. Thus it overlooks my living room, in all its majesty!

Matchbox 902!!

2006-08-23T07:49:00.000-07:00

First home away from home. Thats my matchbox 902! Much as the name suggests, it is a cosy little humble abode of mine for the next 16 months or possibly more.

I must admit, although that the same little home of mine comes with a cost that raises eyebrows! Back inIndia when i was shortlisting apartments this was not part of my chosen list. But it so happened that when i got here and found out how convenient it was, there seemed to be no looking back on it. It is a 2 minute walk from my department, the second home away from home! Whats more! My department is seen from the windows of my room. That is just as close as it could get.

To me the best part of my cosy little abode is the view overlooking the living room. Cathedral of learning it is. When I got to Pitts i thought this monumental building was a historical one. No!! It was not! But yes, It did have some history associated to itself. This building belongs to University of Pittsburgh. To have a university center towering over the city is certainlny not ordinary! I wake up to this wonderful view from my living room, needless to say that i avoid looking at my department from my room for obvious reasons!

People (in) power

2006-08-21T20:45:00.000-07:00

"The government took measures to counter the protesting doctors by serving them with suspension letters and asking them to vacate the hostels to make way for newly recruited doctors. Some states invoked the 'Essential Services Maintenance Act' (ESMA) and gave notices to the doctors to return to work, failing which legal action would be taken against them. The government also put on alert 6,000 men from Rapid Action Force to take care of any untoward incident. " - Wikipedia

You probably wondered what untowardly incident this was. This was the consequence of the anti-reservation protests. Yes! It happened in India, the largest democracy. 27% percent of reservation in educational institutions of high standing seemed to arouse Indians in all of a Rang de Basanti style. We were all so reminded of the protests in the movie!

I was a little taken back watching the movie. The end was, or atleast i thought, a little exaggerated for reasons known only to the director. A few months into the year I was totally shocked when some students lost their lives in the anti-reservation protests. 2 realistions: One, I knew then that yes i was part of an Era when people still fought for their reasons. Secondly, that the government being a democracy is just namesake!

It goes without saying that, people power no longer holds good in the democracy of people in power.

2006-08-21T20:37:00.000-07:00

Now aint that cool?!!

That is the view from Mt. Washington for you!

Pic courtesy - Vishnu

Mount Washington!

2006-08-19T15:14:00.000-07:00

We had to get there to earn some good points as part of the fun activities held by my department. But the closer we got there, the more we forgot the game for which we had to earn the points. The place got the better of us.

The way to get to the place was amusing as ever! We got down at station square from our bus. I was in for my first underground train experience at US of A! I was reminded of scenes from DCH-a popular movie and its scenes where the protagonists take the trains in Australia. Pittsburgh had its surprises for me. Here was one, as the train started its trail along the tracks twisting and winding off, I was amazed as i looked on as a child would when the train overlooked the river speeding off on the bridge. Do not remember the place where we got down. Now it was time for the winch experience. This was how we were going to get up to the mountain. As we alighted up the mountain, the Mellon building towered over the city. It was a wonderful sight to behold. The city which i undermined! The bridges, the river, the tunnels and the skry scrapers! It was all of that!

I was treated for a double treat when i set off agin with my friends to the place later in the evening. It was twilight and i loved it. Oh yes, I should not forget to mention about the confluence. Yes, Pittsburgh has that too. There is a huge fountain that splashes water all around and we had our fun!

It was certainly my day! It was tiring alright, eventful nonetheless!

Holocaust!

2006-08-17T20:10:00.000-07:00

I was not surprised when i found out that the term "genocide" was coined during Holocaust. Holocaust or the Shoah - Nazi regime's ruthless oppression at its high point; and it turns out that this was poor Non-Aryan German's worst nightmare.
Vikram Seth's "Two Lives" makes for a wonderful reading. Having not been a great enthusiast of History, I had very little exposure to German history. The protagonist of the book being German, the author delves into her life in detail. This is where i gained an insight into the state of family lives during the Nazi Regime. Reading all about concentration camps and extreme hostile environment that the Jews faced during this tyrannical rule, it was not hard to understand the emotional trauma that they were subject to.
One of the most horrific things i read was about the Auschwitz concentration camp. People who were taken to this camp were initially checked for a certain amount of fitness. If they were qualified fit to work, they would be used up as slaves for menial work near the marshy camps or otherwise. The others who did not get past this test on the affirmative were directly taken to be killed. I could not help but imagine the plight of these helpless people and put myself in their shoes. Even the very thought of it scares me. Nobody was spared this torture. No reprieve, no matter what! What probably was the most shocking thing to discern was that the Nazi's considered disabled people as a burden. But then, there is a better explanation to this. Nazis believed that Aryans were a perfect race!
While terror was unleashed in the most inhumane forms on innocent lives, it is difficult to understand what mindset one would have to perform such barbaric acts!

Noble Nobel!! Just trivia!

2006-08-17T20:07:00.000-07:00

I just made a startling discovery!! Rather disappointing one at that. In all there have been 758 Nobel Prize winners till date. No, thats not the trivia that caught my attention. It is this - http://nobelprize.org/search/women.html. Out of the 758 Nobel Laureates only a mere 33 are women, so far!! That is less than 5% of the total number of the winners.
My instincts asked me to google and discern if the "phenomenon" has been acknowledged for. All in vain! Except for this site - http://almaz.com/nobel/women.html. A little bit of research revealed that no woman has been awarded Nobel in Economics.
The first thing that i had noticed under the list of Women Noble prize winners, was that, though not majority, the highest number of Nobel went to Women under the category -"Peace". Incidentally, It was a lady- Bertha von Suttner who urged Alfred Noble to have this category. She herself, later, went on to be awarded the same!
I should not like to believe statistics. Yet, I went on to key in "Women Ingenuity" in Google and found this - http://www.factmonster.com/ipka/A0768070.html . Kind of pacified my rather disturbed mind!
I do not want to draw conclusions, for i do not believe in statistics!

Kitchen woes!!

2006-08-14T16:32:00.000-07:00

Yes! i have finally taken to cooking, now that my mom is far far away. I cut my finger in the first week itself!

I was told cooking was thereupatic. Some sort of consolation that was. When i actually started to cook, i realised, it was not really so. Atleast for me. I was used to having my meals as and when i was hungry. Here, the scene completely changed! I had to cook first whrn i got hungry! Some are suppposed to be natural cooks! If that meant enjoying cooking, no i am not a natural cook!! I cook because it is inevitable! Cooking also means cleaning up. After tiring cooking sessions you have the cleaning sessions.

Its not just about cooking. There is more to it! All the grocery shopping! Phew! Its a pain.

I cook to fill my tummy. Thats about it. It is no more to sate my taste buds!

Blog

2006-08-13T20:27:00.000-07:00

Back at home, I did not really think i would have to blog. It occurred to me after getting to the US of A, mighty far away from home that blogging could well be a nice way to vent out my feelings.

Yes, Its my first stay away from home(read parents). And yeah, If u ask me I coud fill you in on how much I am missing home. I would rather, talk about my journey to the west. I had a warm send off. Amidst tears and hugs, I was at a juncture wondering if at all the decision was worth it. I still wonder!

The course of the journey was via Mumbai, Germany,Charlotte and finally to Pittsburgh. Mumbai was not really a good experience. Shifting the luggages from the domestic to the International airport was a pain! Off to Germany! I was to be held there for a 4 hour break. I thought i yearned for something. Coffee it was. But the coffee was bitter as ever! It was the chocolate pastry that pepped up my spirits! But i was in for one of my worst flight journeys. The journey after this was awfully bad! The journey to Charlotte never seemed to end! I had no enthusiasm left in me to peep out into the world below me.

Down to Charlotte and there I was held at the customs! It was a horrifying experience. I think i rather spare myself the trouble of remembering that, although i got through it. I managed to catch the connecting flight, thanks to the flight delay!! Finally when i got to Pitts, IGSA was at its best lending its helping hand.

Pittsburgh was hot as ever. And boy! was i hungry!

Heat and hunger
I had more to discover
A mere stranger
On the soils of of a country,alien as ever!