Friday, March 14, 2008

"What I am not" and "What I am", Now!

I don't know why I wrote the heading of the post in that order. Wonder if the roller coaster ride so far has taught what really delusions are, and hell yeah, I am out of denial and hence I want to write them out first!

I am no more naive(which I think and not my friends) and idealistic. I don't need everything the perfect way. Yeah, I have descended down to reality. All the mad romantic ideas have evaporated out of my mind. I don't have a short temper(really!). I think at some stage we find religion. Get out of our cocoons, stop messing with it. And then, we get past the stage where we expect mom, dad, this friend, that friend to clean up the mess and fix things! In doing so we undo certain characteristics. I did. And all that is, what I am not today.

Oh and yeah, I am not reckless with my money. It is selfish, cause for as long as I was spending mom and dad's money, I laundered! I really did. And now with my money, I am pretty organized. Or so I think.

I discovered over the weekend that I am no more playful, yes that is the way I used to be. Of course, this is just suppressed behavior. Adaption to your environment. The fittest survive you know! Need be, I will return to being myself!

And for what I am, it has all got to do with the fact that I seem to now have my feet not just firmly grounded but also in reality. RedQueen of Alice in Wonderland says - "It takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place". Be it for your career or personal life, I truly believe in this. Work, work and work!

Coming of age? I like it this way too!
Did someone say it was fun being the kid that you were? I second with you too!

11 comments:

Lucifer said...

now we dont have d clouds to build our dreams on...but now we dont have to cry each time our dreams r broken
now we dont have sand castles to play with...but now we have life which is teachin us
now we dont have innocence...but now we have patience...
now we dont have mischief...but now we have belief

i liked it that way...n yeah!!! i like it this way too!!!

really like this post...vy well put...smthn stirring...smthn smitten...smthn written...smtn hidden...n totally love d way u have ended it!!!

CandidConfessions said...

Hey Mayz! Thanks :)

And i love what you've put down there.. Its just awesome.. speaks my mind!

Dhanya said...

Sometimes I also get this feeling.. But we should alway be a child at heart.. Don't grow up.. Seriously I can't imagine u not being playful n all.. So revert back :)

nutty said...

Growing up and maturity is so over-rated acc to me!! I hate being mature about anything!! But sometimes I too have to give in to being an adult and it makes me quite miserable! :P

:)

Lighten up .. life's too short anyway!

Alameen said...

it might be a bit weird.. i think life is better now than when i was a kid :)

i was always afraid of many things when i was a kid.

Zee said...

the kid one was??? or the kid one still is??

Cuckoo said...

We are never full adults... there is always an element of the children we were!

Enjoy each stage and revel in it, for you move on and it usually doesn't come back :)

Anurag said...

careful with money :o) ha ha...khud kamane se log careful ho jaate hai paiso ke saath :D

n definitely kidhood rocks yaar...but even adulthood is fun...in its own way though

Amandeep Singh said...

Now...I can relate to all this...

I am ..lets say..a step behind ya.where you are rite now...would be there...soon...

Nicely written!

CandidConfessions said...

Thanks all you guys for leaving the comments!

Dhanya - point noted! :)
Nutty - You spoke my mind, I hate being the adult I need to be.. But I guess thats the way it is!
Alameen - Being a kid was fun too.. And yeah, different perspective..
Zee-The kid one - still is! :P
Cuckoo - Sure it doesnt! movin on is hard u know!
Anurag - kidhood - nice word u coined!
Standbymind - Thanks! Sure, you will chug it up to there! Soon!

AJ{ax} said...

hey...nice post...
it's all so relative isnt it...somewhere down the lane, we're ruled by our age and our experiences...

clean the slate...start afresh..erase the memories !! the kid within u would automatically be out playing in the park :)