Here I hop!

It has a been a while since I blogged now. Various reasons contributed to me being aloof. Not to forget my laziness.

So What's new? A little more perspective may be. I just found new waters. Henceforth I will be penning my mind in another space - for all that is unsaid and undone . Pardon the appearance as I am still working on putting it together.

Needless to say, I will still be a constant reader of many of your blogs.. I loved reading your blogs and will continue to..

Crossroads

I have the choice between living life in my comfort zone and growing(read:just stay put!) or I could just hit the roads and see the world(I mean - literally). What would you do when confronted with a situation as such? No amount of profound sayings and preachings help. Ye, I see you nod.

Haven't you had the feeling that everything, in the end, comes to be monotonous and commonplace? I do. I don't want to know if it is the right thing or not. Partly because I have seen my friends and others live life without complaining of doing the same thing over and over again and yet being as happy or happier than I am. Oh well.

If I put myself in the shoes of a third person to observe me, I would have to say ( from his/her view) - "Hmm, she doesn't lead a bad life. Much better than many indeed". But you see, there is only so much you can do in your day to day life when you have timetable to follow. My job grounds me in as much as I like it. 3 weeks of holidays a year! Its amazing how millions of people have come to accept that. Is there anything else to life at all!?

Me and my meanderings. God, give me the will to cut chase tha rat race. And see the world in all its beauty. Let me get a life! Amen.

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Talking of God, here's food for thought -

House: "You can have all the faith you want in spirits, and the afterlife, and heaven and hell, but when it comes to this world, don't be an idiot. Cause you can tell me you put your faith in God to put you through the day, but when it comes time to cross the road, I know you look both ways."

From the popular medical drama House MD. Also, my current fixation!!

The Selfish Gene

Thursday, May 8

We the selfish gene!

I had the opportunity to witness "homeless" people in New York City! Not that I had not seen them or was not aware of their existence around in here. It only struck me yesterday that I never thought of what they actually do for shelter and food. Here I was at a charity missionary, that provided shelter and food for a few homeless people in Soho, serving their dinner. It was an experience.


Six of us(all my colleagues) went down to this place in Soho around 6 after work while the sun still shone bright. When my colleague asked me if I would like to volunteer, I only saw this as a good opportunity to be outside on a beautiful day like this(Summer is around! Yay!). Not that we did a whole lot there. All we did was clean up the place, set the table for serving dinner, serve dinner and clean up all the vessels, trays and the place. I was amazed to see the kind of people who come in as homeless. My friend had warned me about this. Looks do not qualify them so at the least. What was commendable was how generous we were allowed to be when serving. We were told that we can serve as much as they ask. I was serving the desserts, there were three kinds of them. Sometimes they asked for all three, sometimes 2 of the same and nothing too. The food was great, not to forget. Obviously as expected owing to the good food, there were a few students there too.


What surprised me at the end was when a whole lot of food was thrown after it was all done. When we asked, we were told there is never dearth of food to serve. Food and food materials keep coming in. There is only so much you can serve and store. So, food gets thrown away. And them all in quite an amount!

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I am so out of the age when I sat and analyzed all that a guy would tell me!! "what'd he mean?!, was that a hint!.. blah blah". Guess I am coming of age. Times that pass by have taught me, I know for a fact that in the end I am the one who should be convinced of it all. Not naive, not dumb for the sweet nothings! I look back and laugh at how naive I was and now I am glad how I have grown up to be. How secure and comfortable I am now can only be explained by how much fun I have without taking anything seriously and analyzing all that happens around me. It is indeed comforting to reach the stage when you can know that if something has to happen, it will happen irresepective of any number of analysis! So yeah, I love not to do that anymore and just have fun while it lasts! Boy! Am I happy.

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13 May

The path lady

So everyday when I take the path back home from office I see the old lady, homeless, who gets food from the burgerking or McD in the underground station. She lies down in a pile of worn out comforters with a trunk. Needless to say, felt pity. Not anymore! Yesterday, she was chatting away to glory on her cell phone! Can you believe that! How is that you beg for food and yet have money to support your mobile phone bills?! Beyond me!

It reminds me of freakonomics. Awesome book! Wait until I finsih it and write about how much I love it and why!

So long...

New York

I got out of the subway and started walking up the stairs towards the street. It was about 8:20 in the morning. The perfect New York cold morning. People still in the very professional black jackets, scarves(many Burberry), with the blackberry in hand and a laptop hanging down the shoulder; they all walked along. It was an ant line, a very co-ordinated one. Everybody knew the rules of the game. Don't stop anywhere - it is the behavior of knowing your business. You are out of the train and your business is to walk to your office as quickly as possible. It is religious.

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This city is the perfect place to be. Well, almost. If you like surprises thrown at you when you least expect them. I got out of the office at about 5:oo in the evening. Early. Just as I was crossing one of the lights at Times Square(Yes, I my office is at Times Square), this car went past me, missing a few people by inches. Big crazy writing said "The wacky family" on the car. It had skeletons all over doing stupid stuff. Driving the car, popping out of the window - all the way out at that, popping out of the boot and what not! I almost laughed!

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The joys of living in New Jersey? Getting to view the wonderful Manhattan skyline everyday from the comfort of your bedroom and living room!! And boy, do I love it! I might have to move into another apartment in a couple of months that might not have a view.. Hmmmph :(

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Elevator communication skills. Ever heard of that? I had not until I found out I have a course on that is part of an ongoing learning that helps acquire effective elevator communication skills. What with all the tall buildings! Chances of bumping into your seniors are very high. And yeah baby, in New York you got to make use of every minute! Funny! I won't be surprised if a course called subway communication skills come up soon!

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Remember Sunscreen song? And what Baz Luhrmann has got to say about New York?
"Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard"
Somehow, I don't concur with this! At least, so far, I haven't met anyone who has been cold and hard on me!

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Kind of blanked out now! More later! So long...

"What I am not" and "What I am", Now!

I don't know why I wrote the heading of the post in that order. Wonder if the roller coaster ride so far has taught what really delusions are, and hell yeah, I am out of denial and hence I want to write them out first!

I am no more naive(which I think and not my friends) and idealistic. I don't need everything the perfect way. Yeah, I have descended down to reality. All the mad romantic ideas have evaporated out of my mind. I don't have a short temper(really!). I think at some stage we find religion. Get out of our cocoons, stop messing with it. And then, we get past the stage where we expect mom, dad, this friend, that friend to clean up the mess and fix things! In doing so we undo certain characteristics. I did. And all that is, what I am not today.

Oh and yeah, I am not reckless with my money. It is selfish, cause for as long as I was spending mom and dad's money, I laundered! I really did. And now with my money, I am pretty organized. Or so I think.

I discovered over the weekend that I am no more playful, yes that is the way I used to be. Of course, this is just suppressed behavior. Adaption to your environment. The fittest survive you know! Need be, I will return to being myself!

And for what I am, it has all got to do with the fact that I seem to now have my feet not just firmly grounded but also in reality. RedQueen of Alice in Wonderland says - "It takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place". Be it for your career or personal life, I truly believe in this. Work, work and work!

Coming of age? I like it this way too!
Did someone say it was fun being the kid that you were? I second with you too!

Obama, Stumbled upon and all the exciting jazz..

That I was a Hillary supporter some time back does not surprise many of my friends. Many think I am a feminist (I will argue that later, much later). What you need to know is that, back then, I had not done myself the favor of reading(a lot, at that) about Hillary and Obama. In due course, I did follow all the debates, arduously read a lot. What seemed totally ridiculous was when people (read journalists and people) popped the question - "So, do you support Hillary(for she would be the first woman President) or Obama(for he would be the first African American president)?". Seriously, are one of them chosen for these reasons? Sure, it sounds exciting. Woman president and African American president. I did give in to this in the beginning. But at the end of the day, we like what we like because it appeals to us. It appeals to us because it resonates with our perceptions of the world and the way we want it to be. With the democratic front-runners the same is true. Obama fires up people because he either knows what people want or he knows at the least what they want to hear. In all the debates and speeches I have seen, Hillary has been vanilla. On the contrary, when I watch and listen to Obama I get excited. He exudes the appeal that I have often only heard of- that of someone inspiring. There is really one thing that sets him apart from Hillary: It seems to me, in as much as Hillary speaks well to people, she does that to get up there in power. She gives me the impression that she only "performs" her "rosy" talks to get into power. Now that is not the impression Obama gives me. With him, its the opposite. He seems to want to get into power to perform on those tasks and deliver the promises. In as much as I want to support a would be woman president, I strongly feel she lacks the chutzpah that she needs. And Obama effortlessly exudes that a great deal.

It was not too long ago when people would gamely demur the candidacy of Obama against Hillary.Recently, when I was commuting back home in DC I got into a conversation with an NPR employee. Until then I thought NPR employees are well informed enough to make their decisions. This woman was meaning to vote for Hillary. Much to my delight, I managed to change her mind. Whether she did vote for Obama is a different issue. But hey, i can be a great campaign manager!

And now for what I stumble(d) upon!
If you use firefox, you have to, have to, have to, download the plug-in "Stumble upon". Thanks to Kaku for introducing me to it. It is like Dig or del.icio.us but much more exciting. You can discover so many cool websites with the click of a button. Here are some fun sites I discovered:

All of George Orwell's works
Diamonds
Paint it!
Horses can sing too
Pug doggie
London
The no buttons interface

Go ahead and install this plug-in. As my friend points out it is damn addictive. And I say its just too cool!

Not so trivial

My bad. Networking is the buzz here! And, boy, did i fall prey! It was a not-so-quiet dinner in a posh restaurant. I look up the menu and all I could get was the vegetarian platter. Everything else had meat in it. So did I have a choice at all?!Besides I was terribly hungry! So I went ahead and did so. It was all good until I got my vegetarian platter which turned out to be a "badly cooked vegetables platter". All the spoilt consultants around me gave the look! And pop came a question - "So what do you do for fun? Eat vegetables?". (And this being part of my getting to know my colleagues) It was not my day alright. It is quite a deal being a vegetarian. Often asked am I, does your religion forbid you from eating cheese, milk blah blah.. Blahhhh blahh blahh! As if all that was not enough, they were sorry for me! Everytime I meet one of these colleagues who shared a table with me, I am greeted - " Hey! there you are, the vegetarian!". To these people, it is oh-so-hard to understand why I would be a vegetarian by choice at all!

Have been reading Shantaram. I had heard a million praises and read wonderful reviews. As the book unfolds I could not agree more how well the book is written. To me, it is not so much about the other side of Mumbai that is revealed as it is about how well the thoughts are articulated. Was I so narrow minded to think a convict could never write a thought provoking book? Well, yes, I guess. And now, I have a perspective. In a world that more or less clearly defines what is right and wrong, what is good and bad, I cannot help but be judgmental. Clearly, to me a convict so far was a person who could never dream big (and write so well). And here is this guy who has probably written the most moving and thought provocative lines. Boy, am I surprised to realize how narrow minded I am. I now do have another great book in my "Already read list". What is more important is how it has radically changed my thinking to a certain extent - That there are no demarcations between good and bad and that they always certainly are subjective. And yeah, I realized how judgemental and wrong I am!

Did I mention that I have not really made American and European friends. I have been here for over 17 months now. Not that I have to, but I want to! Turns out that any town in US has so many Indians around that sub consciously I have hung out only with them. And while I am at that, New York - where I will be spending most of my next 2 years(hopefully!), is filled with Indians! (Alright, alright,I hear all the "Duh"s). Yet, I cant stress enough! I meet all my good old Bangalore friends every now and then. I have no hopes of making any new friends at all there! So much for living in the U.S. of A.

And when it rains it pours!

Times were many when I had no clue where I was heading. And then, thoughts such as - "Did i make the right decision by coming here leaving my comfort zone?" always lingered around. Times change, and yes, I am in good stead to know where I am going now. All that matters! Hmmmm.. Oh well! I am graduating!! Yayy!

The feeling of gratuity and the realization of reason has suddenly dawned! My graduate studies are done. The benefits are reaped. And, ahead of me lies a life which knows what to expect. Much of the remaining period of rest and play until I start work has been planned out. Once work starts, it is probably going to be mundane. For a long time during graduation it was all about grades, then the period of job interviews ( which was a pain, I tell u!!) and then the time to choose between jobs. There was always excitement. Right now, I am a couch potato! Nothing to work for - I have almost graduated and I have the job which was the ulterior motive! It looks like I know the path ahead of me and yet there is some uncertainty lurking around it.

I have now realized, in so long as you have a risky and challenging task in hand life proves to be fun and exciting. I now wonder why people want to "settle down". It is kinda boring. True to its literal meaning, I dont want to. I thoroughly believe it now - You should live on your edge! Jump the ridges and make a mistake, hurt yourself and rest a bit, wake up again and explore it all; of a world that you have not seen. I shall now say to thee my life - "Bring it on"

So far..

It has been a while and I was all lazy! My experiences and emotions and what not failed to convince me to articulate them to dazzle on my blog page. They tried hard. But, Oh well!

Colors of my day
Yes, they want to shine through words
Thoughts of my mind, That gave me quite a time
They aspire to speak a story
And all the crazy dreams
I would spin them on a timeless yarn - Or so they thought
Nothing, Oh yes, Nothing
Could entice me yet.
Yes, the slumber party is over
And, I am back in the daylight
To adorn all of thee!
And time is all of now!

Pardon my rambling. Feels good to be blogging again!

ps: The other day my friend pinged me and said lets watch OSO again tonight. For a moment all I could think was Service Oriented Architecture (SOA), Object Oriented Programming(OOP), Enterprise Architecture(EA) and the likes. Nah, OSO is none of these course that we take!! It's Om Shanti OM. When you want to believe that some people don't know of logic then you have to, have to watch this!!

Sepia Mutiny, Bollywood et all..

One of my everyday reads is Sepia Mutiny. The following that the posts have there are phenomenal. It comes with little wonder why. What with posts that cover thy desi-amrika linked stories with much chutzpah! Talking about issues and happenings that are mostly overlooked by me otherwise. I have a new perspective about various aspects - I always thought desis in US feign stories of India and its associations with the world outside. Not true! I have a bunch of friends who religiously read Sepia Mutiny for the wonderful coverage of human interest stories they do. And most of them are the desis in America.

What Initially drew me to Sepia Mutiny, though, were the colorful banners (note the "color" and not "colour" - Im turning American!). When i dug up the blog to have a look at the banners that are used here - I was surprised to see the amount of them having the bollywood and Bombay influence. The swell banners are here! I cannot help but not deny the association of India with bollywood. Not a bad thing. But it does not feel great about not having associations to the culture or the the cosmopolitan fabric it holds. Bollywood is not niche, and that is why it is not the done thing to be associated so heavily to it.

Not a day passes by in most parts of an average Indian's life without having the talk of bollywood. (Pardon the not-so-much-of-a generalization!). It is somehow has had the most drastic influence on minds in India. The youth take on to bollywood. Allow me to say that - No! I don't mean bollywood is a bad influence. But it does not deserve to have the influence to bring a cultural shift. A simple example - any dress that Madhuri dixit wore was a rage!

I recently read this article about how long loved Indian sari has been less embraced by Indian women, thanks to Sepia Mutiny to pointing me to the article. You can find it here - The sari saga . Shashi Tharoor, notes how suits and slacks and trousers have replaced saris at work place. Yet, I clearly remember women flanking gorgeous looking saris after the Aishwarya Rai movie Shabd. It was glamorous to do so - wear light saris to work, for it looked great in the movie! Oh yes it would! She is Aishwarya Rai! You don't want society to follow the foot steps of bollywood!

Oh well...

Was it divine providence?
Or just the lame happenings
Of bygone days
That memory wouldn't relinquish?
For time yields
And I will let them be
I have kicked the dust
To walk past ahead
While you lie in the shrouded mists
Of my remembrance
Until all of 'you' is effaced
Into the worthless abyss of time

Mid-week off!

The holiday on America's birthday was more than welcome! Apart from it being another holiday it was a mid-week holiday - which I much liked. I am sure most of you would too. This Wednesday holiday suggested me of many more pleasant soothing mid-week holidays, if at all they were an option! And why not so!? Just when you thought you are out of your monday blues and settle into your tuesday the mid-week wednesday holiday is right there! And just another 2 days and you will be off for the weekend! I could not help but think of all the positive effects of this. There were times when I wanted to just laze at home in the weekends - yet I would take off shopping and partying. With this wednesday off I could do all the resting and lazing on the wednesdays and all the fun in the weekends! Sounds too good! Oh I wish!! Wednesdays would then have been a day for naps, lots of coffee and reading books!

Speaking of which, in the last 45 days I have read 6 books - not a great feat, I am delighted much the same. Ever since setting foot on the US, this is the first time I read so much at a stretch and I am oh so glad! An equal music(Vikram Seth), Animal Farm and 1984(George Orwell), Catcher in the rye, Sidney Poitier's autobiography and Tolkien's The Hobbit. All of them made for an enjoyable and thought provoking reading! I have 2 more to finish before I leave to India. And they being - Gabriel Garcia Marquez's Love in the time of cholera and the other being the much celebrated "The world is flat". I would love to boast and yap about my 8 books feat to my dad! So much for the love of books!

These days....

These days I am lazy! So lazy that I just get to bed after coming home from work.
These days, weekends have been fun! For many reasons! :)
One of these days I watched Oceans' thirteen - I loved it!
Even these days I love New York for what it has offered me! Much more than I expected!
And these days Washington DC is great too!
And these days Im loving life!

These days I finished reading 1984 and Animal Farm and Sidney Poitier..

Whenever i read books, especially ones that really appeal to me, I like to discuss them with someone who has read it. but not necessarily liked it. But then most of my friends are in different cities or we just end up not talking about books! And then me and a friend of mine thought about having a Blog Book Club. I will be very happy to have avid book readers to contribute here. Any takers?!

For starters I wrote about 1984 and would love to have it discussed on the Blogging arena. So here it is - Raw renditions

Work!!

From the - "I couldn care less" to the - "Oh! I am responsible too!" attitude. Its been a long way. Err, not really!

Amongst all my friends two of us started our respective internships the earliest, barely 3 days after school ended. I woke up today at 5:45 am in the morning which to a great extent was rarity back in Pitts. The last few weeks, in school, I used to get to bed around that time, owing time to my project. And then, I had friends for whom this was a norm! Times were when my friends and I would sleep late even when we did not really have to - doing what we called - timepass! Getting to bed early was not on the cards! On the contrary, here I am making sure that I get to bed early just so that I am fresh for a good 8-9 hours of work. I am sure this is going to be the same for all my friends when they start work.

Moving from school to professional work is a drastic change I would say. What with the erratic sleep cycles and food habits! At work it no longer can be the same. It is amazing how professional work brings with it a sense of responsibility. There are no more wayward decisions! Right from commuting to office to what are my deliverables at the end of the day - everything is thought of. Feels like I am working on a clock. Actually, realizations that I am getting old is hard to come by. These are one of those few times that such thoughts linger around! (yes yes, I do feel getting old makes me more responsible and less reckless!). But after this, I wonder how much of a change I will have to get back to school! School keeps you young and reckless and rollicking!

And change is good! Keep it changing, back and forth! For the good!

Random meanderings

The torrent that lies within
Resilient to subside
Thrusting to unseen fronts
The soul surging to begin.

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True deceptions
Faltered perceptions
Farce, our guise
Life, less wise!
Overlooked, felonies
Of life, a blur

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Life is thus
Unscathable dreams
A never ending pursuit
Myriad expectations
None satisfied
Swelling ego
One that prides blatantly, shamelessly!

Gtalk status messages!!

Just a peek into all the status messages on Gtalk, good fun! :)

Here they go -

• ":(i hate writing!!:)" - A significant someone annoyed of writing classes :P
• "Bored!! "- This person's got lots of work, yet bored!
  
• "The world's full of jobless people, others have a kernel to build" - One of the OS patrons here!
• "impossible is zero" - Been around for a while, fathomable!
• "Life is a 'butterfly effect'!" - No idea whatsoever what that means :)
• "i have a new philosophy. I am only going to dread one day at a time."
• one infinite loop" - i think i know what this means!
• "Kimi didn't want to scare Alonso with Ferrari's pace" - Whatever!!!
• "Finding fortunes in unexpected places!!!" --- Good for the one who wrote this!
• "Try your best, and think about it later,or you will never know" - Cryptic!
  

I have my share of them too! When I yearn for coffee my status goes - "Coffffeeee"

A whole lot of philosophy in there! :)

Belong!

It was all sunshine
Bright and fine
For a moment, never did I realize
The sun, after all, would set
The sunset, it did
And with it came
The spell of darkness
The spell of silence
Etched though were moments
Ones that are indelible
For a lifetime.
And wither it does, the night
For yet another day
Lights up and unfolds
To let me speak
Of the unspoken
Of the words that belong.

Nonsense! I guess...

Is there a poem in all this?
Yes that is the bliss
No mundane words
Ye words, what do you picture
Adversity it hits me
While I hold on
Or at the least try to
You tell me
Of a life that
Would embrace me...

Ps: This happened to be my comment on someone's blog. For some reason I felt that it should be on mine too :)

Tempest

For I bask in this warmth
That you left behind
Evading your coldness.
And reminisce
Here, As I remain with shards of memories
When all that is
But your presence.
Much against my will
This tempest that there is
Relentlessly effaces thoughts
Of all that is left.

And for once,...

At the brink of the mini. Assignments and quizzes and exams and what not!

And in all that mess came the colors - much deserved. In no time everyone had sprung out of their cocoons. To say that I initially hated all the mess that it makes out of you, I was here enjoying it at the best! It was my first Holi too!

About an hour of careless and carefree time. It was not so much about the festival of colors itself but that it probably was the only reason why we all got out of our streotyped lives that we lead for the moment. For it made a difference.

This one is for those color filled moments! Let the good times roll!